She Looks Like an Angel
by BiOfTheTiger
Summary: "Hey, watch your language, you're among the holy," the angel tells him, putting her feet on the dashboard of Cas' Mustang. In which Castiel Novak is The Righteous Man, scarred by an angel who calls herself Deanna.
1. You Look Like An Angel

Chapter 1

Blood.

That's all he smells. Blood. He's stopped feeling at this point, and all he sees is dark, and he's tuned out the sound of his skin being ripped apart, so he just smells the blood.

It's the overpowering smell that makes Castiel's eyes fly open. He's laying on the dingy mattress of some motel in Illinois. Right. He blinks a few times, eyes beginning to focus. The clock on the nightstand tells him it's 6 AM, bumping his total hours of sleep this week up to a five. The three months since he got pulled out of Hell haven't been optimal. Cas sits up, planting his feet on the floor and stretching out his torso.

"Dude, this place is a piece of shit," says a familiar female voice behind him.

Castiel whips around. "Oh, it's you."

"Don't sound so excited."

Cas picks his pants up off the floor and tugs them on, dragging himself into the bathroom to brush his teeth. The angel follows him. She's humming "Devil in Disguise," as she does it.

"Do you think you're funny?" Cas says, spitting into the sink.

"Well, they don't make you leader of a garrison based on looks," she answers, checking her appearance in the mirror. Castiel doesn't laugh. She looks at him.

"I don't understand why you're so pissed at me. I didn't do anything to you, other than raise your heavy ass from the inner circles of Hell."

"I'm not pissed at you specifically."

She laughs. "Humans. You're always so angry when someone dies. There's absolutely nothing you could've done to save your brother, Castiel. Jimmy dying was what my father had planned. You can't change God's will."

"Funny thing is, I don't care," he answers, walking into the bedroom again and beginning to rummage through his bag for a shirt.

"Well, his death wasn't your fault."

She sits on the bed, scooting back to lean on the wall. The TV comes on without her touching the remote.

"But there was something I could've done."

"Did I not JUST get through telling you the opposite? Quit being so bitter."

He turned to her. "I know you don't have feelings in the slightest, but we petty humans get sad when we lose someone we love. So if you could just stop being a bitch about it, that would benefit both of us. Or, better yet, just stop coming."

He turns back to his clothes and then she's next to him. "I have family too, Castiel. I know what it's like to lose someone, even if I don't have the conventional 'feelings.' Bitch or not, I'm an angel. Show me some respect, or I'll make you."

And then she was gone.

Castiel is listening to a local news report as he speeds along an empty road heading for South Dakota when she appears again.

"You gonna be nice now?"

She scares Cas so much he swerves into the other lane.

"Fuck," he breathes, calming himself down.

"Hey, watch your language, you're among the holy," the angel tells him, putting her feet on the dashboard of Cas' Mustang.

"Get your feet off the dash."

"Why?"

"Because you're leaving."

"I came here to answer the questions I know you have. But if you aren't interested..."

"You're finally going give me answers?"

"What I can."

Cas sighs, trying to think of what to ask first. "What's your real name?"

"That's between me and the people upstairs. You can keep calling me Deanna. Next."

"Alright, Deanna. Why'd you do it?"

"That's rather vague."

"Why'd you pull me out?"

"Good things happen, Castiel. That should be enough for you."

"Good things have a hefty price tag."

"Not this time."

Cas paused. "Was Jimmy my price tag?"

"How should I know?"

"You're an angel."

"Yeah, I'm an angel, not God. Can't you just accept the fact that you're here and alive? Let's move on."

"Are you possessing someone? Because as far as I know, angels don't wear leather jackets and boots."

"This? This is a vessel."

"So God makes his angels possess poor, innocent people? What a dick."

"She prayed for this. He's not a dick."

"What's her name?"

"Deanna. Duh."

"Deanna?"

"Winchester. She was 30, and, much like you, recently lost the man she loved. She was giving herself to the cause. She prayed for me to use her."

"So she's still in there?"

"Yeah, she's still here. But she's basically unconscious. She's in the car, but I'm driving."

"Why do you follow me around?"

"It's my job. You're in my charge. I was sent to watch over you. Castiel Novak, The Righteous Man."

"And what do you do when you aren't following me?"

"Angel stuff."

"Good answer."

She chuckled. "I command a garrison in Heaven. Me and my brother."

"Aren't you all brothers and sisters?"

"Yeah, but I'm with the kid more often than not. His name's Samuel."

Cas didn't want to talk about siblings. "Do you guys have genders?"

"Genders, yes. Sexes, no. We don't have much of anything in our true forms. I'm just a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent if you stripped me down to the basics. But the form humans see us in is that of our vessel, which we choose. So I guess we have genders."

"What do you-"

Deanna interrupted him by suddenly sitting up, ramrod straight. "Damn," she whispered, and then she disappeared again.

"Bye then," Cas said to the empty car, turning up the radio.


	2. Breaking Seals

"That's him?"

"I know. I couldn't believe it either. But, yeah, that's him."

"It's just...crazy."

Cas' eyes opened when he heard two voices speaking- presumably about HIM- in his room at whatever motel he was in. He sat up to look at them, the sheet pooling around his waist.

Deanna and a man were staring at him. He was about half a foot taller than she was, with long, shaggy hair and a much more grim look about him.

"'Mornin Cas," Deanna said, looking at the man next to her expectantly.

"Um, hi Cas-Castiel. I'm Sam...uel."

Castiel looked at Deanna, eyes wide. "You can't just keep barging in my room in the morning."

The angel looked confused. "Why not?"

"What if I was naked?"

A smug smile appeared on her face. "I rebuilt you, inch by inch. I've seen every atom in your body. Your dick wouldn't bother me."

Cas felt himself going red. The angels looked unfazed.

Samuel looked at his sister. "I should go."

She smirked at him. "See ya."

He disappeared, leaving Cas and Deanna staring at each other. Her vessel wasn't bad looking at all, he decided. If she wasn't the purest form of pure there was, Deanna would be the kind of girl Cas would try to stick around for.

Cas shook his head. "I'm gonna go shower." He got up, stretched, and then walked to the bathroom. "Also, don't call me Cas. You haven't earned it."

"You pull a guy from Hell and you'd think you'd get some respect..."

He stopped hearing her, because he turned on the tepid shower, drowning out her voice. The TV came on, so Cas assumed she was staying. He made a mental note to put on a towel when he got out.

When he was done, he made sure to tie one of the ratty motel towels around his waist, and then walked out. His resident angel was watching Scooby Doo with an amused look on her face.

"Why is Fred surprised? It only could've been the mayor, he's the only one with a key to the museum."

He smiled, walking towards the bag where he kept his clothes. He dug out a tee shirt and his last clean pair of jeans and turned to go back to bathroom, but as he did, he saw that Deanna was staring at him, a curious look on her face. She caught his gaze and then looked away quickly, going back to the TV.

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Were you checking me out?"

She glared at him. I'm an angel, dumbass."

Cas wasn't convinced.

Castiel was about to murder her.

She insisted on following him around all the time, so he let her sit in the car with him, and she wanted him to put on-

"What do you mean you don't like Led Zeppelin?"

"It's not like I don't like Led Zeppelin, I just...don't like Led Zeppelin." "Let me tell you, Castiel, I've been around since before music was an idea in man's mind, and Led Zeppelin is so far the best musical group in history."

Cas rolled his eyes. "So, not to be rude, but why do you keep coming? Heaven, or wherever you live, must be really boring if you come down here to watch cartoons and critique my music taste."

"I've been waiting for that question to pop up. You see Cas, we have work for you."

"What makes you think I'm going to do it?"

"Because you're a good man, Castiel. A good man, a truly Righteous Man."

Cas snorts. "Righteous. Right. Tell that to my dead brother."

"Would you get over the dead brother thing?"

Cas shook his head. "What is it that I have to do?"

"Your buddy Lilith is breaking the 66 seals."

"I don't understand."

"Imagine a door. Or a gate. Yeah, a gate. This gate has 66 locks, which Lilith breaks one at a time. The last one breaks, and out pops Lucifer."

"Lucifer?"

"Lucifer."

"But...but Lucifer doesn't exist."

"And according to you about a month ago, neither do I."

"So what are the seals?"

Silence from the passenger seat. Cas glanced over at where Deanna was, except she has vanished.

"Angels."

"You let me die, Cas!"

"Jimmy..."

"I was happy in Heaven. I had my wife and child. And then I get one year with my brother and, just like that, you disappear, leaving me to get killed by demons!"

"No..."

"Yes, Castiel. I'm dead, and it's all-"

Cas threw the bowl of ingredients for banishing the witnesses into the fire he started. With a scream and a blue burst of flame, Jimmy Novak died a third time.

Cas didn't have time to grieve, however, because he'd banged his head on a bookshelf corner a few minutes prior, and he could feel the blood leaking from his temple. He was getting woozy, so he laid down and thought to himself that at least if he died, he might have a shot at the nicer parts of Hell this time.

A familiar set of green eyes appeared above him, laying a hand on his forehead. "Go to sleep, Cas. I'll watch over you."

He awoke what seemed like seconds later in his hotel room. His clothes were clean and he wasn't in any more pain.

Deanna sat at the foot of the bed, the TV turned to a news report about gay marriage.

"God is actually pansexual himself. My father will hear about this."

"Where are we?"

Deanna looked him. "Your hotel room. Nice job with the witnesses, by the way."

"'Nice job?' I almost died! Aren't you supposed to be watching over me?"

"You had it covered."

"Had it covered? I almost bled to death!"

"I have far more important things to be dealing with than a few hallucinations. There are more complicated seals to keep from breaking. I lost six of my best fighters today, Castiel."

"And you almost lost your precious Righteous Man too."

"Maybe you should flip through the Bible. I'm a warrior of God. I wasn't sent to perch on your shoulder. All you are is a pet, a chess piece."

"If that's all I am, then maybe you can find someone else for the job."

"I asked for respect before, and now I'm demanding it. I pulled you out of Hell. I can throw you back in. Now if you'll excuse me, my superiors are calling for me."


	3. Making Deals

Deanna and Cas are running down the stairs of some whorehouse. She's laughing so hard that Cas can hear her having trouble breathing. The two of them burst through the backdoor, and Deanna leans against the door for support as she tries to catch her breath.

Cas can see that she looks different than usual. She's less tense, her eyebrows aren't knit together, she's wearing different clothes, but mostly, she's smiling.

"What's so funny?" Cas asks.

"Nothing," she says, putting an arm around his shoulders. The two of them start walking towards a huge black car. "It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. Years."

Her face fell as she got in the car.

Then Cas woke up.

His eyes fluttered open. Sunlight was streaming through the window already. He slept much longer than he thought he would.

He sat up, not surprised to see his angel sitting on the desk.

"Hiya," she said, picking at her nail.

"Did Deanna- the real one- know me before you took over her body?"

She looked up at him. "No...why?"

"Nothing," Cas said, getting up and stretching.

"Cas, this could be important. It could be another angel interfering with something, maybe one that's not as nice as I am."

"Well, she was in a dream I had. We were at a brothel or something, and she was laughing at something I did. She was acting like a friend. A really close friend. I don't remember ever meeting her before..."

A small smile came over her face. "That was probably just a dream. I gotta go. I'll be back later."

She flew off quickly.

The next time she came in, there was blood all over her face, red droplets splattered on her front.

"What the hell happened?" Cas asked, walking up to her and checking to see where she was hurt.

She wiped her face, walking into the bathroom. "Taking care of business."

"What the hell?"

She got a wet cloth from the sink and started wiping her face. "The bosses are kinda pissed with me. I'm mojoed down for a few days. You're stuck with me."

"What happened to you?" He asked, catching her gaze in the mirror.

"I killed a sinner. The sinner fought back. Typical angel business. Now if you'll excuse me," she said, walking out of the bathroom and sitting on Cas' bed. She stripped out of her jacket and looked at a scar on her right forearm. It was a bright red, as if it were just burned into her skin.

Cas looks at it and the memory comes flooding into his mind.

"You sure you're alright?" she had asked, in front of that same black car.

Castiel assured her he was okay, but when she had gone to pat him on the shoulder, he noticed that mark on her arm. Cas recalled a feeling of anger, guilt.

When his mind cleared, allowing him back into the present, he leaned back onto the wall behind him. Deanna looked up at him, brow furrowed.

"Are you okay?"

"What- what is that mark?" Cas asked.

She looked at the angry red mark on her arm, and then back to him. "Uh..." She laughed nervously. "'Tis but a scratch?"

He squinted at her. She licked her lips and stood up.

"So!" She said in a penetrating voice. "What are we doing while I'm stuck here?"

Cas sighed. "There's some demons in this town. You can help, I guess."

She scooted back, leaned against the headboard and smiled at him. "Cool."

"Cas, I don't think we're in the right place," the angel said from the tree she was leaning on.

"It's the right place. Just wait a little longer. You know, maybe it's you. They can probably sense your angelic...ness."

"Hm. You might be right. I gotta make a phone call anyway. I'll go over there."

"You don't have to- okay."

She was already walking into the trees.

Cas shook his head and looked off into the trees where she had gone and then to the other side of him. He was in a large field on a farm where cattle kept disappearing. He was sort of hoping the demons wouldn't show up tonight. That was he could stay here instead of Deanna dragging him off to help with some other God-awful seal.

"So this is what fallen angels do after they fall?" Said a male from behind him.

Cas turned to look at the man, head tilted, and pointed his rock-salt loaded gun at him.

"Not so scary now, huh? Little birdy is broken. Lost your wings, so you go around killing demons. Trying to be like those Winchesters?"

Cas squinted. "What do you-"

"Castiel, I don't think there's any..." Deanna stopped in her tracks, eyes wide. She glanced between Cas and the demon ahead of him.

The demon looked at Deanna. "Winchester! Mr. Crowley is looking for you, he's really pissed."

"Stop talking," she ordered. Her voice was strong, but her hands shook at her sides, and she seemed frozen in place.

"Yeah, yeah. Say, you wouldn't mind if I killed this guy, right? Best way to get rid of an ex, am I right?"

"That was an order, Grant."

"Aw, come on! You don't need him anymore. He can't help you, his grace is gone! Besides, you work for the boss now."

The demon pulled out a knife from his jacket.

"Don't touch him, Grant, that won't turn out well for you." She yelled, taking a few steps forward.

"You gotta sever old ties, Winchester." He stepped towards Cas, willing the gun to fly out of Cas' hands.

"Don't-" Deanna started, but the demon appeared right behind Castiel.

Cas gasped when the blade entered his body. It didn't hurt as much as it shocked him. He toppled to the ground as Grant vanished.

Deanna ran towards him. "CAS!"

She fell to her knees next to him. "No no no, this can't be happening, this wasn't supposed to happen, this wasn't allowed to happen shit fuck dammit! DAMMIT CROWLEY! YOU PROMISED YOU DICK! YOU SAID THEY WERE OKAY!"

There could've been more yelling. Cas' hearing faded out at around the same time his vision, and the feeling in his body, and...well, everything else went out too.

Deanna leaned over Castiel, eyes wide, hands tightly gripping his shirt. He was struggling to breathe, she could tell, but she didn't want to let go.

"No, no, no dammit I am not losing you again. Not this time."

Her lips curled into a sneer as she slowly rose.

"Fucking Crowley. Smarmy ass demons. Un-trustable."

She snapped her fingers and found herself in a dark, concrete room, with pillars on either side of her and a black-suited man on a throne in front.

"You promised, Crowley!" She yelled, her voice cracking slightly. "We had a deal!"

"What in the world are you carrying on about?"

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT!"

"Calm down, Squirrel. What deal are you speaking of, exactly?"

"The one where I do your dirty work if you keep Cas and Sam safe."

He swirled the scotch he had in his hand, taking a sip before asking, "And what is your issue?"

"One of your monkeys just stabbed Cas! He's bleeding out in a field in Wyoming and I'm here trying to bargain with you! That's my issue, Crowley!"

He made a humming sound and passed his scotch off to a demon standing to the side. The king stood and walked towards Deanna. "I remember another part of this deal as well, and I don't think you're quite holding up your end."

She crossed her arms and looked away.

"You know it too. You were supposed to stay away from Cassie-boy. Our little secret wasn't supposed to get out."

"And it hasn't."

"Yet."

"It won't ever."

"That's what they all say. How about I fix your little boyfriend if you stay away from him. Permanently."

She shook her head. "He'll die."

"Not if I'm protecting him."

Deanna stared at him. "How about the whole deal is off?"

"You stop taking care of business, I stop guarding the angel?"

"I can take care of him just fine."

"Go right ahead. But what will happen when you don't know how to take care of your problem? And you start killing people? I know you and Moose have a pact about that. He kills you if you kill...anyone? What do you think he would say if he knew about your little escapade earlier? The one where you murdered four men?"

Deanna pursed her lips. "They were bad people."

The demon ignored her. "Not to mention, if you call this deal off, who exactly is magicking your angel back to health?"

A bitter smile came over her face. "You."

"Come again?"

"You will, Crowley, because I have something you don't."

"You don't bloody scare me."

Deanna blinked. "Whatever, Shortstop. Just make sure that he's okay."

She snapped her fingers again and ended up right where she had started. Castiel was still lying in the middle of the field, blue eyes open, crimson staining his gray shirt, breathing strained and slow.

Deanna went back to kneeling in front of him, whispering, "Come on, Crowley."

The man's eyes began to flutter. He coughed as the blood began to disappear, and then looked at Deanna. "What the hell just happened?"

"You, um...you almost died."

Cas sat up, looking around him in confusion.

"But I healed you," she quickly followed, standing.

Cas stood too, looking her up and down when he was on his feet. "Yeah. Thanks."

"It's what I do."

He caught her gaze, glancing at her lips for a moment, and then blinking and looking towards the car.

"I'm tired."

"Then you should go," she said, gesturing to his car.

"Aren't you coming?"

"No, I...I think the bosses stopped being mad at me. I'll just- go."

"Right. Thank you again."

"Sure thing," she told him, nodding her head slowly.

"Hey, wait, what was all that about-"

The place where she had just stood was empty.

"-fallen angels?"


	4. Praying

Castiel sat on the edge of his bed with his eyes squeezed shut, hands tensing over the scratchy, orange blanket.

He opened his eyes, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. Slowly, he got to his knees and set his elbows on the bed, clasping his hands together and resting his forehead on them.

The man cleared his throat and began, "Um. I-I don't know if this'll get to you, and I'm not completely sure that I want it to, as it is slightly embarrassing, but...it's been two months since I've seen you that night, when I-um- with the demons. You raced off and I'm...I'm worried about you, Deanna. Please tell me you're okay.

"The dreams are still happening. More of you. We're in a forest and I'm scared for you. But you aren't there. Deanna, I don't know where these visions are coming from, they're so graphic...I know things about you- erm, your vessel-that you've never told me. Her birthday is January 24, 1979, her favorite song is Ramble On by Led Zeppelin, she has an Impala...I'm afraid- I'm afraid I might be going crazy.

Just- be okay."

He opened his eyes again, not lifting his head from where it rested. A sigh, and then he rose, taking his jacket from the chair where it hung and walking out the door.

Deanna stood next to the man named Harold O'Niell as the elevator rose. She could smell his overpowering cologne and feel his intrusive gaze gliding over her body. Feeling the First Blade's silhouette pressed against her side, she leaned forward and pressed the emergency stop button. The elevator shuddered and stopped as she leaned against the railing on the wall, picking at her nails.

Mr. 'O Niell looked from the glowing red button to Deanna. "What the hell was that?"

Her eyes moved up to look at him and she rested her elbows on the bar behind her. "Harold. I hate to break it to you, but you're gonna die today."

He leaned towards the panel of numbers, shaking his blonde head. "I'm not gonna be late to work for this psychic bullcrap."

She wagged her finger, throwing him into the back wall of the cubical. "Ah, ah, ah. Let's not make this hard."

Deanna pushed herself off the wooden wall and stepped over his amber colored briefcase, pulling the jawbone out of her coat. Keeping the businessman pinned down, she put her hands behind her back and began to pace the floor.

"Mr. 'O Niell. I believe ten years ago, you met a man. 'Bout yay high-" (she gestured to the middle of her neck) "-fancy suit, pompous English accent?"

Pausing, she glanced to him. He was still wheezing, struggling to recover from getting all the air knocked out of him.

She turned on her heel to face him and crouched down to his level. "That day, you and that man made a deal. Your soul for all this. The fame and fortune of being the CEO of a big company. And now is when that comes to bite you right in your hairy-"

Castiel's voice filled the room. "Um. I-I don't know if this'll get to you..."

So the spell had worked. Castiel mentioned her name, she heard it. He was...praying? Having dreams of Purgatory. He was worried about her safety.

"Oh, Cas," she breathed. Blinking, she noticed the man formally at her mercy was up and punching the buttons on the panel frantically. Rolling her eyes, she stood and stabbed him in the back.

Her eyes flicked to black as she watched the crimson patch on Harold's (probably expensive) suit jacket grow. The demon leaned next to his ear and whispered, "See ya in Hell," before pulling the Blade out of his back and watching him collapse.

Her eyes flicked back to their normal emerald color as her lips curled into a smirk. The sound of the man rasping and coughing up blood filled the small elevator and it began rising again. She could feel the Mark on her forearm become red and irritated. The last thing she heard was the ding of the elevator before snapping her fingers and vanishing.

But she didn't end up at the bunker, as intended. She looked at the shadowy concrete room and, hearing screams of agony around her, knew Crowley had diverted her travel to land her in his throne room.

"What," she shouted, turning to face him. "Could it possibly be now?"

"Take a guess."

So he knew about the spell then.

"I'm not speaking to him, am I?"

"I told you you were to have no contact with him."

"How am I contacting him?"

"He's contacting you!"

"He doesn't know."

The king sighed, stepping closer to her. "I saved your angel once. A very generous deed, as you had blatantly gone against our little deal. And now all I ask is you limit your contact and do my bidding and you can't even do that! It's like I have no authority anymore. My own manslaughter-ess doesn't do her job, the torture dungeons are falling apart..."

Crowley watched her stare off into space. He huffed. "DO YOUR BLOODY JOB OR I'LL KILL THE BOY MYSELF!"

She shook her head. "Piss off."

Deanna took off and landed at her original destination, supporting herself on a chair back in the bunker's library. She was still gripping the bloody blade, and it was dripping onto the wood floor.

She watched the droplets splatter as her hand began to shake, power surging through her arm and allowed the blade to clatter to the floor. Her hand shook more furiously when she fell to her knees on the floor next to the blade, breathing quickly.

_Happy thoughts, Deanna, come on,_ she thought to herself. _Come on, think of Sammy. Sammy and his stupid rabbit food and kale, whatever the hell that is, and Men of Letters legacy, that kid makes you proud, come on Dee, you can do this._

Her forearm still burned bright red.

_Okay, okay, Cas, think of Cas, think of what you had, think of how much you love him, you love him so much_

_And then he fell and you couldn't save him. He's gone, and it's your fault._

Her eyes flicked black again as she rose, picking up the First Blade again and vanishing.


End file.
